passing the time 1

first, to appease COL T.S., i meant no disrespect to the pet shop boys, as they are a staple of my music library as well.   

and now, the 11th commandment: as thou approacheth thy redeployment date, thou shalt get more ridiculous in thy amusements. 

this is an update for those of you who wonder how soldiers are keeping themselves entertained in baghdad.  areas already covered include “the countdown”, “the status of pants in iraq”, “throwing fruit against a T-wall “(this one never really took off, mostly due to the fact that it required walking outside, and we’re a lazy bunch…),

“crossword puzzles in full combat gear”crosswords-in-gear.jpg

and the often-referenced “cardboard tank”. maneuvering.jpg

prepare yourselves for the latest installment, “naming footballs”.

naming footballs is the older of the two, and began about a month ago when we arrived at work one day and discovered that we had accumulated 10 or so footballs.  not that this happened overnight, but it only struck us that morning – everytime someone gets a football in the mail, they bring it over to us, to help our collection.  i think it’s actually like an offering, to appease kevin and me, so we don’t pelt them with a football the next time they walk through the “shooting gallery” (also known as the open area in front of our cubicle horseshoe). 

anyway, the net result (is that redundant?) is that we have 10-12 footballs now, of varying shapes, sizes, weights, and, by extension, with varying potential to cause damage and/or injury. 

pile-on-safe.jpg a pile of footballs begging to be thrown at someone…

each football has really developed its own personality, and given the diverse characteristics represented in the group, we felt is was important to give each a name.  that way, when i want the skinny white football, i tell kevin, “toss me calista flockhart” and there is no confusion. 

so, without further ado, here is our list:

evander.jpg Evander.  this football is the real deal.

orange-crush.jpg Orange Crush (appropriately, this football has the most potential to injure unsuspecting passers-by).  broncos colors, and homage to our #77, which began our daily countdown, Karl Mecklenburg.

coco.jpg Coco.  wife of rapper/actor Ice-T (anybody watched Law&Order lately?).  heavy on the top and the bottom…

corey-hart.jpg Corey Hart.  glow-in-the-dark football, and bright enough to make us wear “sunglasses at night”.

baldy.jpg H2 – the bald football (in honor of MG Hunzeker, the former Commander of CPATT)dont-ever-date-my-daughters2.jpg

the resemblance is uncanny…(he’s the one on the right, asking me if you can really make a living coaching soccer)

doug-flutie.jpg Doug Flutie.  not the biggest football, but still useful, when you want to annoy, but not injure. 

hector.jpg Hector.  a little knowledge of classical literature is required – the football is wrapped in plastic, making it trojan-like (i apologize for the PG-13 rating of this picture), and the most famous trojan from the Iliad is…you guessed it!

so, for those of you wondering where your tax dollars are going as the cost of this war continues to skyrocket, rest assured that we are making good use of our time.  actually, given the exceeding nimbleness of the one brain we all share in our section, the subtle and witty naming of all the footballs took only a few minutes, and i promise we were working hard on acquiring pants for all Iraqi Police at the same time. 

hollywood-squares2.jpg  here’s the story, of a ball named Corey…it was a very Brady day in CPATT.

one of my first posts after arriving in Iraq ended with “3 weeks down, 49 to go”.  well, we’ve come full circle – 49 weeks down, 3 to go.

and just for the heck of it…

pre-skit.jpg me and kevin getting the shaved head look



10 Responses to “passing the time 1”

  1. classic post- thanks for the entertainment.

    Numaniyah loves you. You should grab a vine, swing on down and bring Bourdage Nation to its feet.

    That’s my Jim Rome routine, the most ridiculous sportscaster I know.

    See you in a bit. I’ll be grabbing the runners of the last chopper out of Nam- check that- Num.

  2. The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the blog post From the Front: 04/03/2008 News and Personal dispatches from the front lines.

  3. “Crossword puzzles in full combat gear” made me cry with laughter! Also, I look forward to playing with “Coco.” Please bring her back to California…


  4. My brother is nuts…and I love it…I recognized the Hector football..(well not recognized IT, just the name) I’ve read the Iliad about three times in my major….anywhoooooo almost home! Splotch says hiiiiiiiiiiiii

  5. FYI when I click on the cardboard tank pic…it does not get bigger..don’t tease me….;)

  6. I have two great dates this year, you coming home and Noodle graduating, not sure wich has been longer

  7. Marc Dee Says:

    Dude! You hair collection is GONE!

    I’ll save my trimmings to glue on your scalp.

  8. K.D. Malone Says:

    Three weeks until you return and just three more after that until Brendan Bash 2008. Awesome!!

  9. Naming footballs…and I thought my life was boring working the weekend shift at Delta Airlines missing all the good sports. I’d settle for the weekend shift rather than doing the Army thing again naming footballs in the Desert…Stay safe and let the countdown continue!

  10. Professor Heath would be so very very proud of your use of all the mythology- remember that 10% quiz that I failed after the Nyquil! FRIGGIN DATES OF EVENTS!!

    Ahh well…I can take out my frustrations on the third graders and their social studies test on Thursday!

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