could’ve been better…

i’m officially back in the office now, and settled back into the soul-crushing routine of life in Baghdad, so i guess it’s time to share the high points of my vacation in Athens, and make snide, sarcastic comments about a culture that is different from mine.  but i promise it will be funny…

i’ll start with a quick list – Top Ten Things I Learned in Athens:

10) if Rick Astley or The Pet Shop Boys ever put together a comeback tour, it will start in Greece.

9) fanny packs never went out of style, they were all mailed to Greece.

if secondhand smoke were exportable, Greece would be the richest nation in the world.  seriously, the cooks are smoking while they prepare your food.

7)  putting a rope around a bunch of shapeless old rocks does NOT make them interesting, or worth 2 Euros to see, even if your city was the birthplace of one of the most storied civilizations in the history of the world.

6) putting the Acropolis on a huge sheer hill rising out of the middle of the city IS interesting, and it was free.

5) if you’re not yelling, you probably don’t really care.

4) ouzo is not an apertif, it is not a classic greek spirit, it is not a storied mediterranean libation…it is GROSS.  (in the interests of thorough scientific inquiry, i imbibed in small and large quantities, just to be sure).

3) the answer to “do you speak English?” is always “yes”, and is always a lie, as soon as you throw a “difficult” word like “train” or “bathroom” into a sentence…

2) Irish coffee in Athens – heavy on the Irish, light on the coffee.  delightful.

and the number one thing i learned after two weeks in Athens:

1) the sun never sets on stretch pants. 

i would love to now share pictures of my vacation with all of you, but due to bandwidth restrictions, i can’t upload.  boo on undersea cables being damaged. 

final thoughts:

- greece would be great for three or four days, but two weeks of living in the middle of the city was a bit hectic at times, given the greek penchant for smoking, speaking loudly, and driving their motor scooters on sidewalks. 

when modernizing the city, it is apparent that the city planners had two options:

1) widen the streets, paint lanes on them, and write traffic laws.

2) leave the streets chariot-width, give everyone a free motor scooter and a pair of stretch pants when they move in, and let pedestrians fend for themselves. 

three guesses which option they chose, and the first two don’t count…

so back to the grind, and counting down the days by choosing the most obscure sports figure to wear that number on each day.  today is 77 days left – Karl Mecklenburg of the Denver Broncos. 

cheers.