the grind

my theory was flawed.  i’ll admit it up front, and add a hope that i will never get a chance to test alternate 12-month deployment theories.

we are supposed to take our mid-tour leave somwhere in the middle four months of our tour.  go figure.  so, being the clever, system-out-smarting kind of guy that i believe i am (some evidence to the contrary, as you will soon discover) i pushed my leave to the very end of that period.  the logic was simple – if i could get to 8 months, and then return from leave around the 9-month mark, i would be coasting to re-deployment. 

flawed.  flawed.  flawed.

i came back from leave 3 weeks ago, and i have to say, it’s been the longest 3 weeks EVER. 

part of the problem is that about 3/4 of the people we arrived with will be leaving somewhere between 3 and 6 weeks before me and kevin. 

please step up and receive your complimentary kick in the face.  now go back to your desk and make another slide.

so as some of our friends are getting their bags packed, we are looking at 8 more weeks.  and i thought the army was always fair…

but, as my mom always says, this too shall pass.  and the weather is starting to warm up a bit (not that it was ever that cold, but i’m looking for something to be positive about, work with me…) so it could be worse.  we could be on a 15-month active duty tour, we could still be living in the roof-tar closet room, we could be in the air force.  just kidding about that last one.  but not really.

anyways, the countdown rolls on, although we wish we were in soccer midfielder territory instead of offensive linemen.

yesterday was 64 – Jim Burt of the New York Giants.  who wore cute little elbow pads to go with his 3-sizes-too-small jersey.  he said it was to keep defensive linemen from getting a hold of him.  i have my own theories.

cheers.

could’ve been better…

i’m officially back in the office now, and settled back into the soul-crushing routine of life in Baghdad, so i guess it’s time to share the high points of my vacation in Athens, and make snide, sarcastic comments about a culture that is different from mine.  but i promise it will be funny…

i’ll start with a quick list – Top Ten Things I Learned in Athens:

10) if Rick Astley or The Pet Shop Boys ever put together a comeback tour, it will start in Greece.

9) fanny packs never went out of style, they were all mailed to Greece.

if secondhand smoke were exportable, Greece would be the richest nation in the world.  seriously, the cooks are smoking while they prepare your food.

7)  putting a rope around a bunch of shapeless old rocks does NOT make them interesting, or worth 2 Euros to see, even if your city was the birthplace of one of the most storied civilizations in the history of the world.

6) putting the Acropolis on a huge sheer hill rising out of the middle of the city IS interesting, and it was free.

5) if you’re not yelling, you probably don’t really care.

4) ouzo is not an apertif, it is not a classic greek spirit, it is not a storied mediterranean libation…it is GROSS.  (in the interests of thorough scientific inquiry, i imbibed in small and large quantities, just to be sure).

3) the answer to “do you speak English?” is always “yes”, and is always a lie, as soon as you throw a “difficult” word like “train” or “bathroom” into a sentence…

2) Irish coffee in Athens – heavy on the Irish, light on the coffee.  delightful.

and the number one thing i learned after two weeks in Athens:

1) the sun never sets on stretch pants. 

i would love to now share pictures of my vacation with all of you, but due to bandwidth restrictions, i can’t upload.  boo on undersea cables being damaged. 

final thoughts:

- greece would be great for three or four days, but two weeks of living in the middle of the city was a bit hectic at times, given the greek penchant for smoking, speaking loudly, and driving their motor scooters on sidewalks. 

when modernizing the city, it is apparent that the city planners had two options:

1) widen the streets, paint lanes on them, and write traffic laws.

2) leave the streets chariot-width, give everyone a free motor scooter and a pair of stretch pants when they move in, and let pedestrians fend for themselves. 

three guesses which option they chose, and the first two don’t count…

so back to the grind, and counting down the days by choosing the most obscure sports figure to wear that number on each day.  today is 77 days left – Karl Mecklenburg of the Denver Broncos. 

cheers.