marHaba (hello…and other things)

so it’s been a little while since my last post, and, rest assured, there is a good reason…(you all probably thought i was going to wax poetic about the reason at this point, but i fooled you.  haha.). 

actually, we’ve just been pretty busy, and most nights all i want to do is drink a beer, (i apologize to all of you who expect a more significant daily degradation of my liver), read a few pages of highly erudite literature (read: Calvin and Hobbes), and drift of to sleep to the soothing sounds of the wind whistling across the barren plains of Kansas. to paraphrase for all of you who are already tiring of my attempt to entertain myself with nonsensical sentences, i am tired most nights, and want to sleep.

but given the high quality of the pictures taken by CPT Glen Dare now in my possession (and a few less-than-gentle proddings from the same) i must relate a few events from the past week or so. (is it ok to end a sentence with “so”? i’m sure my mother will let me know…)

the first few pictures are from the obstacle course/confidence course, which delivered us from the evils of power point presentations for a few hours, and made us feel more like soldiers, and less like we were back in high school classes, than anything we have done so far.

the team picture shows us all (Team 19) before embarking on the obstacle course, with our bodies and dignity still (mostly) intact.  things went downhill from there, and i am not referring to the terrain.  the next couple pictures show us on various obstacles, negotiating them in a way that would make any participant in stock-footage-of-Al-Qaeda-terrorist-camp-training video insanely jealous.  bottom line: we can low crawl and monkey-bar (yes, it’s a verb) like nobody’s business.  second bottom line: Team 19 is an elite bunch of obstacle-conquering dudes.

the next week included the pistol range, where our resident pistol expert, MSG Merrell,

 

set the standard, and carried us on his (rather broad) shoulders.  in other news, this was the first day after a few team members received their personal army-issue prescription eyewear, carefully calibrated to bring objects into better focus, and to simultaneously repel all members of the opposite sex.  of course, we all had to test their effectiveness by wearing them.  lo and behold, no females ventured within 30 feet of us for the 5 minutes we were thus begoggled.  (please refrain from questions about how many females had approached us in the 5 hours preceding this event).

those of you whose attention has not wandered previously, have now certainly found something to do more interesting than listening to me ramble.  if you are anything like the girls i asked out in college, this includes, but is not limited to, a pressing need to wash your hair, iron your favorite shirt, or catch up on your “Cheers” reruns.  i am very understanding, as i was then, and will leave you in peace to attend to your personal business. 

more to follow on subsequent training and “team building” events…in the near future you may look forward to discussion of the fine dining facility fare, the growing of “honor”, calendar-quality spreads from the M240 machine-gun range, and general tough-guy pictures from all venues. 

 cheers.

some pictures

for those of you who are curious what it looks like when the army gives you 43 pieces of gear and tells you to wear it all at the same time, check out the first three pictures.  the first two are me (notice prominently displayed “bourdage” on vest) and the third is CPT Glen Dare, who is the token minority on our team, and embraces the role. 

the fourth picture is part of the team walking back from class one day, which seemed like a good before we left, but only ended up saving us approximately 10 minutes.  but at least we looked tough as we were crying on the inside.

and the final picture, for those of you who have been waiting with bated breath for a picture of my hard-core army haircut (self-inflicted, i might add) is me displaying a grievous staple wound, suffered while attempting to separate the pages in a packet during class.  very traumatic.  also of note in the background is the look of concern (which soon became one of derisive scorn) on Master Sergeant Merrell’s face.

more intense training picture will soon be posted…all reasonable requests for particular photos will be debated by the team. 

middle earth? no, just Kansas.

i have decided that ft. riley, KS may be this week’s sign that the apocalypse is upon us.  now before you say, “how are you, brendan bourdage, qualified to make that statement, allow me to present my evidence.

exhibit A: at 2200 (10 at night for those of you living in the confusing world of AM and PM) last night, the temperature was about 40 degrees fahrenheit, and we were conducting our night driver’s training.  (tips for not starting your HUMMWV on fire by driving with the parking brake on to follow shortly) concurrently, our area of Kansas was under blizzard and tornado warnings (tips for surviving simultaneous blizzard and tornado also to follow).  so far, so good.  i wake this morning to 2-3 inches of snow, and gusting winds, go to a briefing, come out at about 11 AM, and find the temperature is now around 45 degrees, 90% of the snow has melted, and the forecast is for low 60s this afternoon.  i am undaunted, however, in the face of the imminent end of the world (wherein Kansas has apparently been designated ground zero) and will henceforth be wearing every piece of army clothing i own at all times, to be prepared for any eventuality.  those of you living on the great plains (read: the middle of nowhere) may be well-advised to follow my example.

i’m off to do some sunbathing, as the temperature is supposed to reach 85 by this evening.  that was a joke.